at the beach without you

You fell through my fingers as

sand.

I had you for a

sweet sun
kissed

wave-beaten

second.

The you fell through

the cracks

of the Jetty.

In the cold,

barefooted,

long-sleeved

hop from

rock

to rock.

We sit and

stare

and stir.

Seaweed- wrapping,

twisting,

gripping-

Had a better

slippery grip

on you,

And our slippery

steps,

with slippery feet

took dry cracked

caution

at the beach

without you-

Did you know I fell?

Really Long Rant Poem Thing That I Just Had to Get off my Chest

I fell asleep to flowered wallpaper,

I fell asleep on that twin bed

to the music of a big room

the music of

of her flute,

my sisters piano downstairs.

I never slept

when the parking lot,

outside my window was plowed.

The sheet of white innocence

iced in yellow light.

I never slept

when the heaters creaked, when

the big house stretched her limbs.

I always danced

down the long long

halls,

under that chandelier,

bathed in childhood.

Oblivious to my very own bliss.

I always stared,

at that reservoir

across the road.

I always sat on my dandelion hill

or I sat in my tree,

I let the lilacs

the strawberries,

the daffodils,

the violets

raise me.

In a sunflower house,

in the tall grass,

Ive never known anything else.

I never knew,

the sun falls so differently

burns you differently

when you're somewhere else.

I never knew

there were people somewhere that

didn't know how to get to dandelion hill

and that didn't know how long I spent

in that tree,

in that garden.

They didn't fall asleep to my floral walls

and didn't know that all those details

were so important to me.

And one beautiful day we were gone,

and so were all the people

who did know.

Unrequited

I bet it was a night that said

Stay here with me

forever.

I bet her eyes looked nice

on that lake.

I bet you fell in love

on the water.

Like I always dreamed.

I know shes beautiful

everyone knows it.

I bet shes broken some hearts.

I bet the summer air

and her starlit dances

compelled you

to fall the way you did.

To fall the way she did.

I would have too.

I bet its just time and place.

I bet you and I were never meant to

criss cross

our paths.

I bet

You and her

had the moonlight

knit your hearts together.

The whole world on your side

for this,

someone to appreciate you,

to appreciate each other.
I bet you're

meant to be.

I bet your heart

just about exploded that night.

So far away from home,

and so close to it

for the first time.

They say we will have our day

but I bet that if we did

I'd see that summer in your eyes,

but she cant dance with both of us

and I bet she can dance a long time.

I bet she loves you alright

makes you happy,

and I bet your satisfied.

I bet you played her guitar,

I bet she thought of you all night

you fell fast didnt you?

She did,

I would have,

I did.

Jose

Jose you were hide and seek

and peek a boo

You were a lap for me

always on my side.

You were that big blue quilt

and I don't forget

how I woke you up

those nightmare nights

and how you didn't even hesitate,

to let me under the covers,

And tell me about those princesses.

And that old house feels like a castle these days,

And on the rainy days

You and I were shut inside.

That fort in the living room

the cushions,

the blankets.

The elegant couches,

completely perplexed at the playfulness.

You never made those forts the right way

But that never mattered to me at all.

Jose you were on the football team

and all those cheerleaders you brought home

who mattered to you,

who smiled at me, as I stood on the bleachers of your school,

because they knew I was yours,

I remember all their names, Jose.

You were on the field Jose,

and I sat and watched

and told everyone around

"see him, number 52?"

that you were mine.

and they smiled right back at me.

And now, even today, like always before

when you wrap your arms around me

and I see our skin tones clash so dramatically

Do you know what I think?

Nothing.