Stay here with me
forever.
I bet her eyes looked nice
on that lake.
I bet you fell in love
on the water.
Like I always dreamed.
I know shes beautiful
everyone knows it.
I bet shes broken some hearts.
I bet the summer air
and her starlit dances
compelled you
to fall the way you did.
To fall the way she did.
I would have too.
I bet its just time and place.
I bet you and I were never meant to
criss cross
our paths.
I bet
You and her
had the moonlight
knit your hearts together.
The whole world on your side
for this,
someone to appreciate you,
to appreciate each other.
I bet you're
I bet you're
meant to be.
I bet your heart
just about exploded that night.
So far away from home,
and so close to it
for the first time.
They say we will have our day
but I bet that if we did
I'd see that summer in your eyes,
but she cant dance with both of us
and I bet she can dance a long time.
I bet she loves you alright
makes you happy,
and I bet your satisfied.
I bet you played her guitar,
I bet she thought of you all night
you fell fast didnt you?
She did,
I would have,
I did.
rachael i love this so much. you captured these moments perfectly.. my heart breaks and falls in love at the same time as the speakers. it's great.
ReplyDeletemy one suggestion is that you end it after "she did, i would have, i did." it's so strong that i don't think you need the last stanza.
Thank you SOOO much!!! great advice, as I read it over I think I agree.
ReplyDeletei really like this, you are a very talented poet
ReplyDeletebut is there a reason why your apostrope usage varies?
ReplyDeleteThanks Kelly, and no, I definately need to fix that, thanks for pointing it out
ReplyDeleteI like the line "You and her
ReplyDeletehad the moonlight
knit your hearts together". great piece, good job Rachael.